Growing up, whenever we'd see homeless people while vacationing to big cities, my parents would offer to buy them a meal but very rarely ever give money directly to the person, especially if they were smoking a cigarette or had a bottle in a brown paper bag sitting next to them. I learned from this and adapted this to my own personal journey in New York City. In the past year, I've given away from time to time a few granola bars, fruit, sandwiches, soup, whatever I had that was extra and I didn't need. Sometimes I'd give it to the beggar who saw me eating and asked if I could spare anything. Sometimes I'd leave it anonymously next to the sleeping bum on the subway car. I have had both positive and negative experiences with this.
A man came onto the subway car explaining that he was hungry and had no money for food and was asking for money to buy himself something to eat for dinner. I reached into my bag and offered him a granola bar to which he turned down saying, "Nah, you can keep that." If you were starving, wouldn't you eat any food that was offered to you? Clearly, he was begging for money for other things, may it be drugs, alcohol, who knows, maybe even video games. This situation confirmed my decision not to give money to beggars. I now can confidently refuse to give money to strangers on the subway or streets because of this one man. It may be unfortunate that some people are homeless and hungry and not drug-users and people refuse to give them money because they might be drug-users. However, I would rather offer food to a homeless person because I would never fuel an addiction in anyone and there is no way of knowing.
One time I gave a group of three kids a dollar who were break dancing in the subway with their boom-box. They were pretty talented and doing some impressive tricks. I suppose I have a soft spot for dancers and gave in to my rule of not giving money. I think if they worked hard to put on a show, rather than just beg for money, they deserve a dollar.
On my bucket list I have crossed off, 'Give a Bum a Sandwich' and I gave it to the same homeless man that I've written about before in my Is anyone ever really Homeless blog earlier. One day I purposefully packed an extra sandwich hoping he'd be waiting in his same spot so that I could give it to him. I walked up and asked, "Would you like a sandwich?" and his face lit up because I had past him so many times and given him nothing. Yet everyday he would still shake his handful of change at me as I walked by. Sometimes I'd try to give a polite smile, but this time he was the one smiling and he said thank you. I felt such joy at that moment. The reward of giving truly is better than receiving. I know I felt better about myself for giving him that sandwich than he did for receiving it. As I walked away and up the subway steps, my eyes welled up with tears of joy for giving someone a bit of hope (and a bit of food) and I felt his genuine appreciation.
In conclusion, give! And you will receive greater gifts than you have given, but you must feel comfortable and confident that what you are giving is going to do more good than harm. If you give a gift that enables someone to possibly continue ruining their life, then I don't think you can call that a gift (at least not a very good one). Be blessed!
xoxo
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