1. New Yorkers speed walk. Tourists stop in the middle of the sidewalk and/or stroll at a snails pace.
2. New Yorkers look at their phones while walking (at the speed of light). Tourists can't multitask.
3. New Yorkers cross the street when it is clear. Tourists will wait 5 minutes for the little white man walking symbol even if no cars have passed in the last 4 minutes.
4. New Yorkers ignore bums. Tourists give them money (to feed their habits).
5. New Yorkers will step on pigeons if they get in the way. Tourists feed them.
6. New Yorkers look at the sidewalks and/or phones as stated above. Tourists look up at buildings.
7. New Yorkers weave in and out of crowds and on bikes weave in and out of traffic. Tourists create crowds by standing there and create traffic by not knowing how to drive in the city.
8. New Yorkers go into buildings. Tourists take pictures in front of them.
9. New Yorkers check their pockets after being bumped into. Tourists say, "I'm sorry."
10. New Yorkers will give you directions like 4 blocks downtown, 3 blocks east. Tourists pull out maps.
11. New Yorkers dress in business suits or like 70's hippies. Tourists wear visors and fanny packs.
The next thing you need to know is where to find good grub.
Do not travel all the way to New York City and eat at Olive Garden, Red Lobster, or Ruby Tuesdays. You can eat that back home. Go somewhere that you can only find in New York. For a quick slice of pizza on the run, hit up any of the Three Brother's Pizza places for a $.99 slice. Ever tried Halal? If not, there are plenty of vendors on practically every corner. For a famous restaurant with great giant sandwiches, try Carnegie Deli. If you are craving any type of food ever invented, you can find it in New York City. Make use of my instructions on how to tell a New Yorker from a tourist, and ask a New Yorker where to find good eats in the neighborhood.
Things to do.
Yes, go to all the tourist sights. Check out Times Square, Central Park, shopping on 5th Ave and Macy's Herald Square, etc. But don't waste your money on a $40/per person tour bus ride. Get a map and take the subway. Go see the Statue of Liberty but don't waste your money on a boat tour. Take the Staten Island ferry for free. Buy tickets for Broadway shows the day of the show from the Tkts booth under the stairs in Times Square. This will usually save you 40%. Also check out websites that list free things to do in the city everyday. Most museums in the city are free on certain days or have a 'suggested donation', such as the Met, (Metropolitan Museum of Art for all your tourists), which means you can give them a nickel, or a dollar or a five and will be allowed entrance.
Nightlife.
Meatpacking district is where all the locals go for swanky nightlife. Clubs to check out, if you can get in, SL, 1Oak, Park, Avenue, Griffin, Bunker, Gansevoort. Dress Codes are strictly enforced everywhere. No jeans, no sneakers. If you are looking for a younger crowd, Webster Hall is a pretty cool place to see, especially on Saturdays when they have Circus nights. You will find lots of cool pubs and bars on any street.
Where to stay.
If you don't know anyone who lives in the city, get a hotel room in Queens or Brooklyn near a subway stop and ride the subway into the city. It should save you a lot of money, but check out various prices on comparison websites before you book. Don't forget to check if they have a complimentary breakfast. If a family of four gets complimentary breakfast at a hotel that costs $150 a night, but doesn't get one at the hotel that costs $130 a night, go for the more expensive hotel, because breakfast has the highest markup of any meal and can cost a lot in the city.
The subway.
Do not be scared of the subway. You might get lost, but not after the first two days of your trip. Ask for directions, and read signs. Maps are posted everywhere and New Yorkers are usually willing and happy to help. Sure its a little dusty, okay very dirty, and there are bums everywhere. But, the bums are usually harmless other than the odor they give off, especially in the summer. The subways are much safer than depicted in movies. Keep your guard up, and your purse in your hand, but there is really nothing to worry about. Ha ha, I made it sounds so good, huh?
So, tourists! We welcome you to our lovely home. Come look at the buildings we forget about. Enjoy the bright lights that keep our blinds closed. Take in the beauty of the sights we take for granted. But whatever you do, do not stop in the middle of the sidewalk. That is like stopping your car in the middle of the highway.
xoxo
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