"911, I need your help, I have 3 minutes to get a Valentine's Day card, or I'm a dead man!"
"My wife says I don't listen to her, or at least I think that's what she said."
"Me and my boyfriend broke up over religious differences; He thought he was God, I didn't."
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway."
"We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops."
"My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside."
"Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy."
"I got rid of my boyfriend. My cat was allergic."
"Relationships are when one person is always right and the other is the guy."
Hope these give you a laugh or two!
xoxo
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